1) I'm mad right now. First of all... turkeys never go the way you want them too. A whole turkey is a huge problem because of the ridiculous difference between the breasts and legs. Second... they're always frozen and for some reason they don't follow the laws of thermodynamics. They will unthaw over the course of several decades.
2) I should have implemented notes on this website. Okay...
3) BRINING: Maybe I should wet brine from now on just so that I know the effing turkey won't be frozen on cook day.
4) Smoker positioning: The way the smoker is setup today there is an extremely hot spot on the right side and the entire left side of the smoker is cool. If I want an even cook maybe I should use the thermo-gun to find the hot spots and put the breasts on one. If I want this to work in future years I should push probably everything as far to the left as possible... keep the legs on the left and put the breast on the right.
5) I HATE smoking turkeys. It never works. Maybe I should try spatchcock.
6) Take a look at this simplified chart I drew using data from a USDA guide.
Pasteurization Time for Poultry With 5% Fat Content
(7-log10 lethality)
Temperature Time
136°F (58°C) 65.3 minutes
140°F (60°C) 29 minutes
145°F (63°C) 10.8 minutes
150°F (66°C) 3.7 minutes
155°F (68°C) 1.2 minutes
160°F (71°C) 26.1 seconds
165°F (74°C) Instant
According to the USDA's own data, as long as your turkey spends at least 3.7 minutes at or above,150°F (66°C), it is safe to eat. In other words, by the time it's done resting (you do let your turkey rest before carving, right?), you should be good to go.